In 1870, Margaret Murphy ended up in Dundee Police Court after throwing a bucket of dirty water over an auctioneer who kept turning up at her shop asking for money, then allegedly taking a swing at him with a poker when he still wouldnae leave. The best part is half the courtroom could barely keep a straight face while the whole thing was being read out. Every time the poor man mentioned the smell of the water, the place erupted again.
What was actually in that water, we dinnae even want to know.
If stories like this are right up your street, you’ll hear plenty more on our Worst of the Worthies tour, where we dig into the folk who made a name for themselves for all the wrong reasons. Just like Margaret Murphy, sometimes you just had to cause enough of a scene no one could forget you! Read the whole case below.
(Photo by Bill Harrison / Dundee Sheriff Court / Wikimedia commons)
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DUNDEE POLICE COURT, Wednesday 13 July 1870.
WOMAN CHARGED WITH ASSAULTING AUCTIONEER. At the Police Court before Bailie Brownlee, Margaret Murphy, licensed broker, Hilltown, was charged with assaulting Constantine M’Cafferty, auctioneer, throwing a quantity of water upon his breast, and striking him with a poker at the door her shop on Friday the 8th inst. She pleaded not guilty and was defended by Mr More.
Constantine McCafferty deponed “I had occasion to call on Mrs Murphy on Friday. I went to her with account of goods which had been sold for her and asked re-payment of the balance she had been paid above what the goods brought. She asked me to go to the door, and when I was about to leave, she brought a vessel containing dirty water and threw it over my breast. (Laughter from Court.) I sent a man away for a police constable, and the time he was away she came out with a poker and aimed a blow me. I warded off the blow with my arm. This is the second time I had called about this account; I gave her no provocation. The smell of the water nearly suffocated me. (Laughter from the Court.)
Cross-examined by Mr More – “My father’s name is John McCaffarty. I got some goods from this woman to sell. My father was not answerable for them. I sold them.
Mr More – “And then bolted to Glasgow with the money?” (Laughter from the Court.)
McCafferty – “I went to Glasgow.”
More – “An action was raised against your father for the money; and he was held liable?”
McCafferty – “Yes.”
More – “After you bolted with the cash you went away up and asked the money your father had paid. How often was you up?”
McCafferty – “Twice – I never was in her house before.”
More – “What o’clock was it when you was up on this last occasion?”
McCafferty – “It was about half-past two o clock.”
More – “Was you never in this woman’s house but these two times?”
McCafferty – “I am on oath, and I have answered that before.” (Laughter from the Court.)
More – “But I want you to answer again. Were you not more than twice up about this account?”
McCafferty – “No.” (Laughter from the Court.)
More – “Was there any person with you?”
McCafferty – “There was a man. He waited at the door till I did my business.”
More – “Did you not go to kick up a row?”
McCafferty – “No.”
More – “You went to ask for the money, and she asked you to go to the door?”
McCafferty – “No. The first time I went she said she had nothing to do with me.”
More – “And was that not a sufficient answer?”
McCafferty – “No.”
More – “You went to ask the money the first time without any account?”
McCafferty – “Yes.”
More – “How long were you in the shop on the last occasion?”
McCafferty – “About three minutes.”
More – “You presented your account, and was told to go away? What were you doing these three minutes?”
McCafferty – “Cleaning the nuisance off my breast.” (Laughter from the Court.) I was told to go to the door, and she then threw the dirty water over my breast and necktie. (Laughter from the Court.) If you had got it you would have done as I did.” (Renewed laughter from the Court.)
More – “It was clean water?”
McCafferty – “No, the smell was likely to suffocate me.” (Laughter from the Court.)
James Thom deponed that he accompanied McCafferty to Mrs Murphy’s shop. He waited at the door. He saw her bring a vessel of water and throw it over McCafferty. (Laughter from the Court.)
Cross-examined – “He did not tell me how often he had been there before. He asked her very civilly for the money, and she said, ‘You dirty thief if you do not leave my shop I will cleave you.’ (Laughter from the Court.) ‘It was dirty water she threw over him. Did not see that he followed her into the kitchen. Did not see him turnabout in the shop all. I left when she threw the water in his face and went for an officer.”
William Armstrong deponed that he saw McCafferty at Mrs Murphy’s door, and she came out and struck him on the arm.
Evan Wilkie, for the defence, deponed that Mrs Murphy had complained to him about McCafferty coming up annoying her about some money.
Margaret M’Connachie deponed that last Thursday McCafferty came to Mrs Murphy’s. Mrs Murphy was not in. He kicked up a row. He said he wanted her (witness) to take some papers, and when she refused, he said he would call back again. Mrs Murphy had often complained to witness about McCafferty coming to the shop. He always kicked up a row when he came and raised a crowd about the door.
Mr More said that the accused keeps a broker’s shop in the Hilltown. She asked M’Cafferty, the father of this man, to sell some goods for her, and he sent his son— this precious gentleman— for the goods, and the old man on being applied to for the proceeds of the sale said he knew nothing about them. He (the old man) stated that not only had the son sold these goods, but he had also sold other goods and gone off to Glasgow with the money. An action was raised against the father before the Sheriff for the money and decree obtained; and no sooner had the money been paid than this young man turned up and went repeatedly and annoyed this poor woman about the money which he alleges she was overpaid.
Mr More attached no importance to McCafferty’s evidence. There was no doubt that a small quantity of water was thrown over him; but when he was asked to go out of the shop he should have left it. He had no right to impose himself as he did in the shop. If he had any claim, the proper course was open to him.
There was no evidence to show that a poker was used. He was standing at the door, and Mrs Murphy gave him a slight push. Taking all the circumstances of the case into consideration, Mr More asked the acquittal of the accused. The Court found the charge proven, but, in the circumstances, dismissed the accused from the bar.
